no one knows the real reason i'm so fucked up and i just feel like i cannot and don't want to tell anyone

i am a slut. but everyone instantly judges me because of it. i'm allowed to be one. i've been hurt so much no one can imagine. my heart will be broken for the remainder of my life. i will continue to cry every night. i hate my life, i'm a mess and i just need someone

i wish i had the balls to kill myself

i love you with every respiring cell in my body

i want you so much, but i hate your guts

i'm not mad, i'm simply a teenager

i only smoke weed because i'm broken. i'm feel no longer human, i'm suffering every minute i'm awake. i don't smoke up to enjoy myself, i smoke to stop feeling miserable. i hate what i've become. i feel guilty every second i'm breathing. smoking makes me feel alive for a while, i forget the constant misery that follows me. i disappoint everyone, but i just don't feel like i need to improve my life. i am happy. i have a house, a family, amazing friends and i enjoy life. fuck i sound like a schizophrenic. 

i would be mental without bud

i only cry because i've forgotten how it felt to be loved by you

sometimes all i genuinely care about is sex

i always feel nothing, i'm have no emotions, i  am numb

at least when i sleep with people it's because i want to and not because i've been lulled into the false promise of a relationship or emotional attachment

i want to watch films with you, cuddle and fuck you for eternity